from my diary....

I know God has not forgotten me nor has he forgotten the desires of my heart. I know that when Mr. Right comes into my life, all the tears I've cried, all the lonely nights, all the struggles and times I have wanted to give up will no longer matter. Nothing prior to him will matter, only him and us, and our life together.

"be still and know that I am God". Psalm 46:10

these 8 words bring peace like few others can.

they humble me.

and remind me to be patient.

they are words from a loving Heavenly Father.

given to remind us that he knows what is best for us.

he knows what we can handle.

and what we can't.

he must have a lot of faith in me because lately I feel as though I am not handling life well.

I feel anxious.

and very impatient.

but every time I read these words I am comforted.

and I'm grateful.

Every now and then life hands us a friendship that is so unexpected that it literally humbles us to the core.

My friendship with my brother has been that for me.

It's safe to say that growing up we weren't very close. I think I had big sister syndrome, also known as jealousy. Kevin was and still is the baby of the family. He was great kid, I was a rebel. I realize that now, but then I didn't. So I was a jerk. I used to beat him up, and I can still vividly remember the day he punched me back and it hurt. He got in trouble for that one. My past relationship definitely put a strain on our friendship as well. It's an extremely hard thing to witness someone you love and care about be treated poorly. There came a point that to stand by and watch me hurt and do nothing was too much for him. It's not that he threw the towel in on me but it was just too much, too painful to watch. And I get that. Looking back on those choices, that relationship, I realize how much pain I must have put my family through. It's something at times I wish I could take back, something I could fix. But life doesn't allow for that.

The relationship that my brother and I have now is an amazing one. He is without a doubt one of my best friends. It's the type of relationship that I longed for for many years. It's the kind that I want my children to have. I know that day or night he would be there for me, and that he's one of my biggest cheerleaders. Even though he's my little brother I feel that he cares for me the way an older protective brother would. He's not shy to tell me that a particular guy doesn't deserve me, which let's face it I need all the help I can get in that area.

But one of my favorite things about Kev is that he's real. He's not afraid to show emotion. He laughs, he cries. He tells those around him how he feels. He's the best uncle my kids could have and I have no doubt that when the day comes he will be the best father around. I'm beyond blessed to have Kevin in my life and I just wanted him to know.

~After a girl is grown, her little brother- now her protector-

seems like a big brother~

Truth for Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an

argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't

want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you suppose to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they

told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't

at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes

a moment at work when you know that you just

aren't going to do anything productive

for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after

Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection....again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes made to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. Do not machine wash or tumble drys" means I will never wash this....ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (hello? hello?, just crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so i know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any

given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with

Miller Light than with Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. The movie Contact, yep.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the find line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "what"? before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at front.

Stay strong, brothers and sisters.

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

29. There's no worse felling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Ever under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey, but I'd bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

I found the following pieces of advice while searching for something for a friend, and thought they were great reminders not only to myself but to any woman at any point in her life.

***

Go for the guy that makes you feel like you are more important to him then the air in his lungs and the stars in his sky; the guy who makes you feel on top of the world is the one who will keep you there.

***

11 Things Every Girl Should Hold Out For

1. A guy who can make you smile...Some things in life are not funny. Can he make you at least chuckle when the chips are down?

2. A guy who will laugh at your jokes and "get" you...He might not understand you perfectly on the first date, but if you think you're funny at tall, I hope he gets that and appreciates it about you.

3. A guy who will attend your lame "things"...Adult dance recital, Mom's birthday party? Find the guy who will go to something boring even though he will get nothing out of it- he'll go for you.

4. A guy who will do nothing with you...And I mean nothing, if you're feeling low-energy, anti-social, or blah, can he sit and do nothing with you or does he always leave you on the couch and go party with the guys? And could you two entertain each other on a deserted island or while stuck in traffic.

5. A guy who will give you a thoughtful gift or card...not every time, obviously, but I would hope he would have his moments of showing you he has thought about you.

6. A guy who will say he loves you...I do not care about his made-up theory that love is just a social construct or what have you. Hold out for someone who can and will say it. Also, he shouldn't say it just because you want him to; he should say it because it feels good to say it.

7. A guy you respect...Does he have a good head on his shoulders? Does he like his job? Is he proud of himself?

8. A guy you have good chemistry with...He doesn't have to be Jude Law, but you should be attracted enough so that every time you have an argument, you will be motivated (by your underlying desire for him)to work it out.

9. A guy who agrees with you about travel...If you have wanderlust and he never wants to leave his hometown, don't compromise by staying with him long-term and staying home. It's fine to be a homebody, but if you're interested in exploring, find a guy with the travel bug. Otherwise, you'll look back one day when you're too old, tired or broke and you'll wish you had seen the world.

10. A guy with similar family goals...Don't compromise on whether or not you'll have kids. If you want them, find a guy who does.

*and the most important one*

11. Wait for a guy who sees you the way you want to be seen...He thinks you're smart, funny, beautiful, and powerful-ALWAYS. Even on days when you can't believe any of that about yourself.

***

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you....the one who will turn to his friend and say "that's her".

***